Now being in a fairly long-term, serious relationship I have made a new discovery about the couple world. Couples love to double date. I swear my friend count has gone up ten-fold since entering into "in a relationship" status.
I didn't actually realize this until my boyfriend pointed out last month that we had 5 pending double dates with my friends. Each couple friend I saw who met my man insisted we get together for a double as soon as possible. It appeared as though my better half was improving my popularity.
In fact, it has now gotten to the point that I am feeling guilty monopolizing my boyfriend's calendar as each weekend books up with several double dates- dinner, movies, skating, cottaging, games nights, parties... you name it. Where were all of these friends hiding when I had all the time in the world as a single gal?
So, last night on yet another fun-filled double, I jokingly told my girlfriend how she has been spending a lot more time with "me", since I have become a "we". She admitted that it was hard to plan to see girlfriends when she and her boyfriend see so little of each other already, and when I was single I would have been a third wheel.
But, now as a foursome we can have our girly catch up while the men bond and then we can all hang out together. So, yet another perk of being in a relationship: popularity.
Who knew?
Last week I was watching Zoe Deschanel in the hilarious show New Girl, when the topic they were joking about really struck a chord close to home for me. Basically, Jess, the show's star, finds out that by the age of 30 about 90% of a woman's eggs have died. Jess freaked on the show, while I simultaneously had a mini meltdown in front of my laptop.
After just passing my 27th birthday, and watching some of my friends popping out baby #2, I can't help but start to feel that biological clock ticking away like a little time bomb. I imagine one day it will ding like an egg timer, but instead of it saying dinner is ready, I will find out that my eggs were scrambled too long and are garbage-worthy. (Why did I use my laptop as a heating pad when I had cramps back in university!?)
Anyway, I brought up the baby-making to my boyfriend and he was totally down (yes I found myself a baby lover), though he reminded me of our combined lack of money, crappy jobs, and living at home with our parents, which might prove to be problematic if we're planning on starting a family.
So, New Year's resolution for 2013: get my crap in order so I can make myself a baby... before all my eggs are fried.
I recently went out dancing with a friend of mine for a good old fashioned "girl's night out". Too much bubbly, red lips, and skinny jeans had us all set to hit the dance floor. Unfortunately the Motown bar we wanted to go to (where you can dance without dodging dirt bags who grope at you) was full. So instead we opted for a university scene down the street.
The fact that we were the only people there closer to thirty than twenty seemed very apparent the second we walked in. We didn't know half the music that was being played (apparently I haven't kept us with what is 'cool' these days), and we found ourselves getting picked up by guys a decade younger than us.
However, determined to have a good time, we hit the dance floor. Part way through the night I got a text from my boyfriend and I stepped to the outskirts of the dance floor to respond. After a couple minutes of banter back and forth with him, I had a guy step up from behind me and point to my phone.
"Mike Richards?" he said.
I nodded.
"I know him!" he exclaimed.
I rolled my eyes and scoffed.
"No, for real. About 6 feet tall? Brown hair? He plays hockey."
"Yeah," I said partially convinced.
"Lives a bit north of here, right? Yeah, were old pals. Cool that you know him, too."
Okay, let me admit here that I am totally, completely gullible Hook, line, and sinker. After a couple more tidbits he totally got me. I started chatting with him, thinking how neat it was that he was old friends with my boyfriend. It didn't matter that he had basically just described the most generic, young Canadian guy. I was certain that he knew Mike.
Thankfully, my friend was a much harder sell. She began grilling this dude about every aspect of my boyfriend until the guy got caught in his lie. He laughed and admitted he had just read the name on my iPhone over my shoulder and guessed the rest. I was impressed at this sneaky but innovative pickup line.
I am so thankful to not be part of the dating scene at the moment. But for all you gullible, single ladies out there... watch out. It seems like pick up lines have come a long way from "Are you tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all day long..."
Well people... it happened. I found an amazing man and am currently in a healthy, happy relationship after the longest search (or so it felt) ever! Funny thing is that after all of the blind dates, online searching, matchmaking, and set up's, I ended up dating a friend that I met while teaching in Seoul, South Korea four years ago. Life has a funny way of working itself out.
A few reasons that I know that he is worth keeping around:
1) He makes plans to see me again each time we hang out. No heart palpitations from scheduling a date *gasp* a week in advance.
2) I've met his parents... more than once. And they didn't call me by some other girl's name. They had actually heard all about me.
3) He knows about my blog, has read it, and has given me permission to continue going on dates to get more material (which he quickly retracted later).
4) After each new friend of mine that he meets, I get a text half an hour later saying "OMG- he is the BEST! I LOVE him with you!" instead of a half-hearted, "As long as you are happy..."
5) He thinks I'm pretty without any make up on. He thinks I'm funny when I get the punch line wrong.... (Okay I know that's a Katy Perry song, but it's true!)
6) He LOVES babies. It makes my ovaries go into overdrive.
7) He is totally down with using a wide array of pet names... from schnookums to schmoopey, from muffin to cupcake, we've got em all covered.
8) He didn't freak out when I told him about my recent dream about making out with a random in a bar. (Apparently my brain is still wrapping around the fact that I am no longer single.)
9) Every person in my life tells me they haven't seen me this happy in forever. And they're right. (I am working on reeling in my googly eyes when I stand in his presence. I am sure it will get annoying for everyone in my life very quickly).
10) My Nana inspected his picture with a magnifying glass, thought long and hard and then told me, "He's got a good face. I like his face." Nana's approval is very important.
So, after the slew of assholes, douchebags, dummies, and boys posing as men that I have dated, it is so refreshing and encouraging to know that a few good men truly do exist and are out there. So don't give up ladies... I had to extend my search to Seoul in order to find my potential soul mate.
No, I am not engaged, but as it seems to happen in every young woman's life, almost every single one of my friends now is.
In fact, this past summer involved little else than me driving to different corners of the country to ring in a friend or family member's happily ever after. The crazy thing is that as much as I love weddings from the teary vows to the bouquet toss, I have realized that I am living and working to pay for everyone else's celebrations.
With seven weddings over the past few months I have learned that weddings don't come cheap. One friend's happy engagement usually means:
-an engagement party (nice bottle of vintage wine in hand)
-a stag and doe (raffle tickets and drinks)
-a bridal shower (something boring off the registry like cereal bowls)
-a bachelorette (an assortment of penis-related items, drinks galore)
-the big day (new outfit, hotel, gift)
SHEESH.
I suppose I may come across as bitter because I am not married yet, but I just can't wrap my head around the financial and time commitment an outsider has to make for each wedding.
Who knows... maybe when it's my turn I will forget the frustration that I feel now and demand what every Bridezilla feels entitled too. In the meantime I have to hit up the mall to find a new dress for wedding number eight.
Lady In Red
A few weeks ago I was invited to a university reunion and I obviously wanted to look my best. I picked out a fifties style high-waisted navy dress with a red frilly top. I curled my hair, did my makeup, and as a last minute decision I threw on some fire engine red lipstick.
I cannot tell you how much positive feedback I got from girls and guys alike. I guess the whole ensemble made me look like a pin up girl and it was turning heads.
A couple guys actually noted, "I like how your lips match your dress." Or from some of the less articulate, simply, "Red... that's hot." Classy or not, I'll take the compliment.
So, for the rest of the summer I am keeping that ensemble and lipstick as my go-to feel good outfit. And if you are needing a night to stand out, try being the lady in red for size.
The other night I awoke from an incredibly vivid dream where I drove across the country to my ex (and first love's) house, professed my undying love in a very Julia Roberts film kind of way, he called off his engagement, and we went off skydiving to celebrate and live happily ever after.
As I lay in the dark, in a sleepy haze, I thought, "Yes. That makes perfect sense. I'll go tomorrow."
Luckily, come morning, my senses had returned and I realized that it would be insane to ever act on such a dream, especially when we broke up close to seven years ago. So what was my problem then? How was my ex still sneaking his way into my dreams nearly a decade after we split?
I decided that the dreaded "ex factor" means that the first true love you have, will never really leave you. It will always hold a very special piece of your heart. There is something so pure and honest and completely unjaded about the first time you allow yourself to fall for someone... it can never really be duplicated. Sure, you can love again, but it's a different kind of love.
As I thought about my wild dream, I realized that my ex's recent engagement clearly rattled me more than I gave it credit for. But, instead of driving to him in a Hollywood fashion, I took off to my cottage for some quality reflection time. During the car ride I realized that I didn't really want my ex back - rather I wanted the idea of what our relationship represented.
And then, I had a horrible realization. If I died tomorrow, my ex would go down as my one great love thus far. But I am no longer his great love... he has found something greater than what we shared. As I processed this depressing thought, Adele's "Someone Like You" came onto the radio (I kid you not... God sure has a funny sense of humour). I began ugly crying while crooning along to Adele's lonely lyrics. [Warning: I do not suggest doing this while driving. I almost ran over an unsuspecting rabbit]
Anyway, post-blubber session, I remembered the gazillion reasons why my ex and I split and I felt much better knowing that I did not have to spend a lifetime dealing with our problems.
The dreaded ex factor is fun for no one- but I have decided to leave the dramatic cross-country pursuit and love confession to the romantic comedies for the time being. Something tells me that there would be no happy ending for this love story.
Attached: an amazing Saturday Night Live skit on the power of Adele's melancholy melody:
http://perezhilton.com/tv/SNL_Emma_Stone_Plays_With_Adeles_Someone_Like_You_/?id=3237b7dac57fc&autoplay=false
