Lowered Expectations

The other night I came home from a mediocre date (not one worth blogging about) to find my most recent ex had changed his relationship status on Facebook from 'single' to 'in a relationship'. There is something so incredibly irritating about that little heart icon when it's beside the name of someone you used to sleep with. A little taunting heart saying you have officially been replaced.


However, I have a strategy for whenever I'm missing an ex by simply focusing on all of his little flaws that I used to overlook because I loved him. In this case, I thought about my ex's increasingly quick hair loss and the fact that when his hair was wet I could see nasty little bald spots. After focusing on my ex's thinning hair for five minutes, I realized I didn't miss him anymore, and the little heart icon didn't bother me so much.


This whole process did make me think about expectations and a "wish list" per say when it comes to guys. I realized quickly that in the past five years my wish list has changed drastically. (Come on, admit... you have the list too. We all do...) Here's what mine looks like:


AGE 20
-tall
-handsome
-full lips/ straight teeth


AGE 25 (now)
-taller than me
-still handsome in the right lighting
-full head of hair


AGE 30 (my predictions)
-not a midget
-not a complete troll
-still has a few hairs on his head and a working penis


I don't want to say that I'm starting to settle by any means. But I think as I get older, and the pool of eligible bachelors gets smaller, I'm needing to change my expectations. And by change, I mean lower...

But, for now, I can be happy that my Donald Trump-esque ex has found someone else and I can still hope to find a guy with a great mane. Because in five years I won't have a chance in hell...