The Leprechaun

I'd really like to believe that through this dating process I have learned a thing or two. So, when I was asked out this past weekend, I decided to pass on the long, drawn-out dinner date, and instead opted to go out for coffee. This way I could get in and out as fast as possible if need be. Wham, bam, thank you... sir?


I met up with Jay at a quaint coffee shop on Saturday afternoon. I got there first and was sipping on my scorching hot coffee by the window, when I saw him. He was about a foot shorter than he said on the website, and about half my size. I'm talking teeny, tiny, leprechaun size.

He came and sat down and I soon realized that his miniature stature was the least of my problems. Jay was straight off the boat from Ireland, and I couldn't understand a word he said! After the first eleven times of asking him to repeat himself, I began to feel a bit stupid, so I decided to just do my best to follow the conversation. I figured as long as I could get the gist of the topic, I could guess when were the appropriate times times to laugh, frown, and nod in agreement. I was sorely mistaken.


It seemed that my guessing game was way off, because a few times I laughed and he gave me a quizzical look like, "You think my grandmother's funeral is funny?" So I would quickly change the subject or shake my head and smack it as if I was a crazy person. I kept sipping on my coffee, trying to finish it, along with the date, but somehow it retained it's scorching heat. (New lesson learned: order ICED coffee next time).


The date came to a fairly abrupt halt, when he said something about restaurants, and I tried to contribute to the conversation by saying, "Well you must know all about that having worked in restaurants for so long." The look I got from him told me my Irish translating had reached an all-time low. He quickly corrected me and said he had NEVER worked in a restaurant and I must be thinking of some OTHER date. I couldn't fess up and admit that I thought I heard him say this a few minutes ago, so I decided to play the part of the dating vixen who was dating so many men, I couldn't keep their stories straight. It seemed slightly less embarrassing than telling him I couldn't understand English- my own native language.


So deeming this little leprechaun unlucky, I said goodbye, and I continue searching for my pot of gold elsewhere...